As someone who’s been on their fair share of dates, I’ve learned a thing or two about what works and what doesn’t. And trust me, there’s one thing that you’re probably doing on dates that’s secretly a major turn-off – and it’s not what you think.

The #1 Thing You’re Doing on Dates That’s Secretly a Major Turn-Off

You’re probably thinking, “What could it be? Am I accidentally telling too many jokes? Not listening enough? Being too picky?” Nope. It’s something far more insidious. Something that’s silently sabotaging your chances of getting a second date, without you even realizing it.

I’m talking about… (dramatic pause) …dominating the conversation.

Yeah, you heard that right. Dominating the conversation is not only a major turn-off but also a surefire way to guarantee you won’t get asked out again. Now, before I dive deeper into why this is a problem, let me ask you – have you ever been on a date where you felt like you were constantly being talked at? Where your partner wouldn’t let you get a word in edgewise? Where did you feel like you were just a sounding board for their thoughts and opinions?

If so, you’re not alone. I’ve been there too, and it’s not fun. But here’s the thing – we’re all guilty of dominating the conversation from time to time. It’s easy to get caught up in our own stories and experiences and forget that we’re not the only ones on the date.

Why Dominating the Conversation Is a Major Turn-Off

So, why is dominating the conversation such a major turn-off? Well, there are several reasons.

Firstly, it shows a lack of interest in getting to know your partner. When you dominate the conversation, it sends the message that you’re more interested in talking about yourself than getting to know the other person. And trust me, nobody wants to be around someone who only cares about themselves.

Secondly, it can come across as arrogant or egotistical. Let’s face it – when we’re talking about ourselves, we tend to come across as more confident and self-assured. But when we dominate the conversation, we can also come across as arrogant or even condescending.

Lastly, dominating the conversation can be boring. Let’s say you’re on a date with someone who loves hiking and you’re more of a city person. If they start telling you all about their favorite hiking trails and you interrupt them to talk about your favorite coffee shop, it can be pretty dull for them.

How to Fix It

So, how do you avoid dominating the conversation and become a better date? Here are some tips:

Ask Open-Ended Questions

Instead of asking yes or no questions like “Do you like hiking?”, ask open-ended questions like “What do you like most about hiking?” or “What’s your favorite part about exploring new places?” This will encourage your partner to share more about themselves and give you something to respond to.

Listen Actively

Make an effort to listen actively to what your partner is saying. Give them your undivided attention and show that you’re interested in what they have to say. Avoid interrupting them or planning your response while they’re speaking.

Show Interest

When your partner is talking about something they’re passionate about, show genuine interest. Ask follow-up questions and respond with enthusiasm. This will make them feel heard and valued.

Find Common Ground

Try to find common ground with your partner. If they love hiking and you don’t, ask them about their favorite hiking spots or what they enjoy most about it. This will help create a sense of connection and shared experience.

Practice Empathy

Put yourself in your partner’s shoes. Try to understand what they’re going through and show empathy. This will help build trust and create a deeper connection.

Be Self-Aware

Finally, be self-aware of your tendencies to dominate the conversation. Recognize when you’re doing it and make an effort to stop yourself. Take a deep breath and let your partner take over for a bit.

By following these tips, you’ll not only avoid dominating the conversation but also become a more engaging and interesting date partner. Trust me, your future dates will thank you.

The Takeaway

Dominating the conversation might seem harmless, but it’s actually a major turn-off for many people. By asking open-ended questions, listening actively, showing interest, finding common ground, practicing empathy, and being self-aware, you can avoid this common dating mistake and become a more attractive and engaging partner. Remember – dating is about getting to know each other, not just talking about yourself.

So go ahead, take a deep breath, and let someone else have their moment in the spotlight. Your dates will thank you for it!